Softening Through Ho’oponopono: Finding Grace in Surrender
I used to think that when I resisted something, it was because I needed it to change.
But over time, I’ve realized that I don’t need my circumstances to shift for me to experience a transformation within myself.
Instead, what I truly need is a softening within myself—a gentle release that can transform my perception and even bring a physical lightness to my body.
Lately, I've been exploring this process deeply through the Ho'oponopono prayer, allowing grace to lead me into surrender.
It’s not always easy to surrender to what is, but with each prayer—"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."—I feel my heart opening, my breath deepening, and the energy within me shifting
The Beauty of Softening
When I approach a challenge or disappointment, I notice a deep-rooted desire for control, a need to bend reality to my will.
But I've discovered a gentler, more powerful approach: softening.
Softening allows the tightness around my heart to ease, letting life flow through me rather than constrict me.
The knots within my being—some quick to untangle, others requiring more patience—begin to loosen as I marinate in the healing energy of Ho'oponopono.
Through this practice, I feel the possibilities of life expanding as I release my grip, as if anything is possible.
“Softening isn’t about getting what you want; it’s about allowing energy to flow, trusting that peace is available even when the outcome remains unknown.”
A Shift in Perception: My Ho'oponopono Practice
I’ve prayed over many challenges, and each time I experience a softening, I learn to let go of control and trust the unfolding of my life.
Here are three examples from recent months that demonstrate how softening has changed not just my perception but my physical and energetic responses.
1. Refinancing a Property
I desperately wanted to refinance my property, hoping to alleviate financial stress.
I kept hitting roadblocks—banks wouldn’t approve my loan unless I put down money I didn’t have.
Each time a potential deal fell through, I was left disappointed and frustrated, feeling that a solution was always just out of reach.
I wanted the situation to resolve so badly that it became a constant source of stress, making it hard to be present in other areas of my life.
When I began the Ho'oponopono prayer, I noticed a shift.
At first, the prayer felt like a way to ease my anxiety, but slowly, I felt a deeper softening within.
I stopped holding onto my disappointment and anger over the obstacles, allowing more freedom in my heart.
Instead of focusing on how I wanted the situation to change, I started to surrender, accepting that things would unfold as they needed.
In a beautiful synchronicity, my cousin—someone I’d never considered as a resource—offered to help with the loan after seeing my name on a folder at his workplace.
This experience reminded me that sometimes, what we really need is not a specific outcome, but a chance to soften and allow life to surprise us.
Reflect: Do you feel blocked in an area of your life, waiting for a situation to resolve so you can move on to the next chapter? Is there something you’ve been holding onto, hoping it will finally come through?
2. Dreaming of an Ocean View
I’d always dreamed of living by the ocean, so when I saw a small studio apartment with a view of the waves, it felt like the perfect opportunity.
I’d just closed on the refinance and believed the universe was aligning for me.
But when I came up short on funds, I felt a crushing disappointment, as if my dream was being taken away just when it felt within reach.
I wanted this apartment so badly—it was the culmination of a long-held vision, and it was hard to accept that it might not happen.
Again, I turned to Ho'oponopono.
As I prayed, I felt a softening in my heart.
I realized that while the apartment was important to me, the deep sense of joy and peace I envisioned came from within. This realization helped me release my tight grip on the specifics of “how” or “when” it would happen.
I felt lighter, more at ease, and I was able to find joy in simply knowing that one day, an ocean view would be part of my life.
Letting go of the need for this specific apartment in this specific moment allowed me to remain open to the possibilities ahead.
Reflect: Do you have a vision or dream that feels just out of reach? Is there something you deeply want but don’t see how it can happen in your current circumstances?
3. Dealing with a Difficult Tenant
Having a difficult tenant can be a relentless source of stress.
No matter which lawyer I consulted, I was told I had little control over the situation.
I felt trapped, powerless, and frustrated, as though this tenant’s presence was an immovable block in my life.
I desperately wanted him to leave, and it was hard to be present with the discomfort he caused.
Every time I thought about it, I felt a tightening in my chest, a resistance to the situation I couldn’t change.
Through Ho'oponopono, I began to release my need to control the outcome.
While the tenant remained, my response to the situation shifted.
The prayer softened the anger and anxiety I’d held onto, freeing me from the emotional weight of the situation.
It was no longer about getting him to leave; it was about finding peace in the face of what I couldn’t change.
With each prayer, I felt my heart open, allowing me to see the situation in a new light.
Though the challenge remained, I was able to navigate it with a sense of calm and strength I hadn’t felt before. This spaciousness allowed the situation to shift from one of powerlessness to empowerment as I found that I could not control what he did, but I could choose to respond differently.
Reflect: Do you have relationships or situations that leave you feeling powerless? Is there a difficult person or circumstance you wish you could change but feel stuck with?
The Power of Softening
To me, softening means surrendering the need to fix or escape and allowing the energy of the moment to reshape itself.
Imagine holding a frozen pint of ice cream right out of the freezer.
It’s solid, hard, and unyielding—you can’t scoop it, let alone enjoy it.
But when you let it sit out for a while, the ice cream softens, becoming smooth, creamy, and flexible.
In this softened state, it’s ready to be savored and shared, taking on a whole new texture and flavor.
Similarly, when we soften in the face of challenges, we allow ourselves to shift and adapt, finding beauty in whatever form life takes.
It’s not about forcing change but allowing life to unfold with greater ease.
Through practices like Ho'oponopono, we release our tight grip on specific outcomes and open up to the richness that can emerge when we simply let things be.
Practicing Ho'oponopono: My Method
If you’d like to try my Ho'oponopono practice, here’s a simple method you can follow:
Set Your Intention: Write your challenge on a piece of paper and place it beside a glass of water, filling it three-quarters full.
Recite the Prayer: As you fill the glass, repeat the Ho'oponopono prayer: "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."
Pray Throughout the Day: Keep your challenge in mind and say the prayer whenever you remember it.
Nightly Ritual: At night, empty the glass and refill it with fresh water, repeating the prayer.
Commit to Your Practice: Repeat this daily, letting the softening unfold as it needs to. Sometimes, it takes weeks or even months for a shift, but you will feel it.
In these quiet moments of prayer, I find peace in knowing that I don’t need to understand the origins of every knot or control every outcome.
I simply soften, trusting that I’ll be guided to whatever healing is meant for me.
With each prayer, I open my heart a little wider, surrendering to what is, so that life can flow with grace and love.
With Love,
