Cultivating Curiosity:The Key to Compassion + Growth
Curiosity is an interesting thing.
We hear the word so often that we’ve lost touch with its true essence.
For years, I studied curiosity, especially during my Reggio Emilia days when I ran the play school.
I applied what I learned in the classroom, observing how children naturally approached the world with wide-eyed wonder.
But it wasn’t until I began my C.O.R.E. Healing sessions that I truly understood curiosity on a deeper level.
Through my own self-healing journey and in supporting others, I’ve come to realize that curiosity is far more than just asking questions—it’s a way of being, an energy that shifts us into our highest self.
Many people embark on self-healing journeys without the guidance of a trained professional.
In those moments, cultivating curiosity becomes essential.
But why? What makes curiosity so powerful?
1. Curiosity Lifts You into Your Higher Self
When you are genuinely curious, you are not stuck in the ego.
You are not clinging to your thoughts as absolute truth.
Instead, curiosity lifts you into a higher perspective, allowing you to observe your experiences with openness rather than attachment.
Recently, a friend and I had a conversation about how disconnected we felt from our social circles.
She shared her sadness, feeling lonely and unseen.
As I listened, I realized that while I too had noticed a shift in my relationships, I wasn’t feeling stuck in sadness—I was in a state of curiosity.
I found myself asking: Why haven’t I made plans in months? What has changed for me?
Instead of concluding that I had no friends (which wasn’t true), I was able to see the bigger picture.
I was simply in a different season of life, one that called for more solitude.
Curiosity created space between my emotions and the truth.
It allowed me to see my situation from a broader perspective rather than getting lost in my thoughts.
When we cultivate curiosity, we move beyond judgment and expectation.
We stop reacting and start observing.
And in that space of observation, something shifts.
2. Curiosity Leads to Compassion
I will never forget the moment I heard Tiziano Siguerso say: Compassion requires more information.
As soon as I heard those words, something deep within me shifted. It was a soul truth that changed me forever.
So how do we get more information? By being curious.
One day, my son—freshly 18 with a brand-new driver’s license—took a trip to the beach with his friends.
To ensure safe driving, we had a tracking device that alerted us to their speed.
That afternoon, I glanced at my phone and saw his speed climbing: 30… 40… 50… 60… Then it went higher. 70… 80… 86 miles per hour.
My heart nearly stopped.
I was furious.
How could he be so reckless?
My immediate reaction was to take his car away indefinitely.
His dad and I agreed—he had to face the consequences.
But when he got home, something shifted in me.
Instead of reacting with anger, I allowed curiosity to take the lead.
I asked him, with genuine openness, What happened?
Tears welled in his eyes as he explained that the highway was only two lanes.
The right lane was congested, and the left lane was full of speeding cars.
He felt trapped, unsure of how to safely navigate the flow of traffic.
He had been scared.
Had I met him with anger, I never would have learned this.
I would have only seen his behavior, not his experience.
But in that moment of curiosity, I saw him.
I saw his fear, his vulnerability.
And my anger melted into compassion.
He didn’t need me to take his car away—he had already decided to limit his driving until he felt more confident.
The conversation could have gone so differently had I not paused and asked, What happened?
3. Curiosity is the Gateway to True Understanding
When you are in a state of curiosity, you are not assuming.
You are open—open to seeing things differently, rather than how you believe them to be.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say:
I know why I feel this way.
I know what he meant by that.
I know exactly why she acted that way.
No. You don’t.
You think you do.
But the truth is, we don’t always know.
We don’t fully understand how our childhood shaped us.
We don’t always know why we react the way we do.
We don’t know what someone else is carrying, what silent battles they are fighting.
And yet, in order to heal, we need compassion—for ourselves and for others.
And in order to access compassion, we must first cultivate curiosity.
Cultivate.
That’s the key word.
Curiosity is not passive—it’s something we nurture.
Something we practice.
Something we grow.
When we choose curiosity over certainty, we choose growth.
We choose expansion.
We choose to see with new eyes.
A simple yet powerful way to cultivate curiosity is to start with the phrase:
"Tell me more."
Instead of jumping to conclusions about yourself or others, begin with this invitation.
Feeling stuck in a thought pattern? Tell me more, mind. What else is here?
Noticing a strong emotion? Tell me more, body. What are you trying to say?
Frustrated by someone’s actions? Tell me more, love. What am I not seeing?
This phrase shifts us from assumption to openness.
It invites us to gather more information before reacting.
It creates space for deeper understanding—both within ourselves and in our relationships.
So today, instead of asking, Why am I like this? or Why did they do that?—try saying Tell me more.
Because the more we listen, the more we see.
And the more we see, the more we understand.
And in that understanding, healing begins.
Curiosity is not just a mindset. It’s a gateway. One that leads us to deeper self-awareness, greater compassion, and ultimately, healing.
And that is a journey worth taking.
